Pudding' The story
by harpy212
Summary: The title is not what you think it means. Little "Pudding" is a young girl who goes through loss, love, and more. She is put through a lot of hardships during her young life. She is moved from the safety of her parents home, to her aunts, to a foster home


"Pudding"

Author: Tiffany Edwards

I don't need to tell you anything about me, I don't need to explain  
myself to you, because you might be another person that could hurt me.  
I'd give anything to re-do my mistakes, but time can't do that for me…  
It won't allow me to fix what I once was; it won't change me back to  
the happy, energetic, and loving person… Or at least so I think, but  
this is how I feel. So why should I explain myself to you? There will  
be a heavy possibility that you will disappear as well. But, I guess I  
have to explain… I must explain. So, from here on in, if you are  
still reading, that means you just made a promise to me that you will  
never deceive me. If you care, you can keep reading, but if you don't,  
then stop reading, because I don't want you to care, because caring  
leads to love, and love for me, only leads to losing…

Chapter 1  
'How did this Happen?'

It all begins here, in my old home, in Dallas Texas, 1996…  
Our house was not the fanciest of them all… It was old, decrepit and  
filed with moss on the side of it. I was young back then, an only  
child, a normal 9 year old girl who was so full of energy, and love and  
respect for others. My dad had been amazing to me, so had my mother. I  
had grown oh-so attached to them. My aunt Sara and my mother used to hang  
out a lot at our house. They would clean, watch movies, and sing soft melodies to me  
as I took a nap on our couch. In the summer, they'd have a barbeque in our backyard.

My aunt Sara reminded me of my mother in so many ways.

She smelled like her, looked like her and they even had an identical voice.

It was clear that they were sisters till the end…  
But the end was near. Near enough that I could feel it cutting into my  
skin, and seeping into my body.

On a Saturday night, after Aunt Sara had left on her way back to her  
home, I realized my father was not with us for an entire week. I  
wondered what happened to the man I had grown so attached to, so I  
asked my mother…  
"Mom, when is dad going to come home?" I whispered gently in her ear,  
"Soon, but for now, you should get some rest", She replied, "Yes Mom  
of course, but promise to wake me up as soon as he gets back", I said,  
"Alright Pudding, I will. It's getting late, bed time." Mom said, as I  
ran up the squeaky stair case, chewing on my nails.

At that time, I was just a stupid little kid. I never even realized  
that my dad was never going to come back. My mom and dad were always  
kind to each other, but all of a sudden, things started to change for  
the worst.

Four months after we moved from Nevada to Texas, they never spoke to  
each other as much as they used to.  
The next morning I awoke, and I realized that mom didn't wake me  
up when dad came home. So, I went down stairs to see what happened, I  
thought she forgot, or was just too tired, or was at least still in  
bed asleep. Half way down the stair case, I saw mom crying and her  
forehead was busted wide open, and blood was everywhere. I ran  
downstairs screaming "Mom! Mom! Are you alright? What happened?" and  
she said "I don't know, call the ambulance", she said, "Where's dad?"  
I asked, "Dad! Mom is hurt!" I yelled, but there was no answer, "Call  
the ambulance right now Pudding!" she yelled as I picked up the phone.  
It wasn't until fifteen minutes later when they finally arrived,  
and I was watching my mother leave our house on a stretcher. I was so  
upset and worried that she wouldn't come back. At this point I now  
realized that I was the only one left in the house alone, because at  
that point I realized now that my dad was gone… and he wasn't coming  
back. I cried, and cried all night. I'd give anything to be with my  
mother right now.  
So I called my aunt. Her full name was Sara Lee Andrews. (Also  
known as Aunt Sara) She came by the house and hushed me to sleep. As  
we drove to her house, I then realized that I might not see my house  
again.

The next morning, I woke up in Aunt Sara's arms. I then started to  
cry, and Aunt Sara whispered in my ear, "Oh, you poor thing, don't  
cry, things will be better soon. Don't worry, your mom will be just  
fine, and I will always be here for you. I love you", she said, as she  
wiped my tears away.  
She brought me into her room, and told me that you will be  
staying here with me from now on. To be honest, I never wanted to be  
there at this time, I just wanted to see my mom. "Aunt, can I see my  
mom?" I asked, she looked at me and I saw a tear roll down her  
cheek, "I am sorry pudding, not just yet", she said as she walked into  
the kitchen.  
"But I want to see her! (I cried) I want my mommy!" she picked me  
up once more and kissed me on my cheek, and then she told me to take  
another nap.  
Two weeks later, the phone rang, and aunt Sara came running out of  
the kitchen to pick it up. "Hello?" she said, "Oh, really, (she  
started to cry) How did this happen" she said "She just blacked out,  
and days later we discovered that your sister, passed away in her sleep.  
We are very sorry, but there is nothing we can do for her", the person  
on the phone said. Aunt dropped the phone and looked at me, and said  
"Pudding, I don't know how to tell you this, you are too young", she  
said, "I heard the news aunt Sara, I'll be fine, I have you", I said,  
as Aunt looked at me in shock "I thought you would take it terribly,  
I mean after the way you cried for her before", she said as she rubbed  
my head.  
Deep Down inside, I felt empty, and alone, even with Aunt Sara's  
company and love.

Chapter 2  
'The House'

3 Years later…

I can vaguely remember Aunt Sara rubbing her chest in pain  
from time to time, but I never really paid attention to it. Until  
today; Aunt Sara fell to the floor, screaming, "Pudding, call the  
ambulance, I think I'm having a heart attack!" I dropped my homework  
books and watched aunt Sara scream in pain. Before I knew it, I faded  
out, but then it hit me, 'what the heck and I standing here for when I  
should be helping her'. I called 911 as fast as possible. "Hold on  
Aunt Sara, hold on, you'll be fine, they're on their way!" I said to  
comfort her and myself.  
10 minutes later, they finally arrived, as I watched yet another  
loved one leave on a stretcher. I began crying. The sirens were so  
loud to me… louder than anything I had ever heard. They squealed and  
squeaked and screamed so loud, it was deafening. The police were  
outside, along with others who could help the endangered patient feel  
better. Neighbors stood on the side in shock, wondering what was going  
on, and if someone had possibly died.

They interrogated me and asked me if I had a close relative I could  
stay with, and I said, no, I don't have anyone. They said are you  
sure, and I shook my head yes three times.  
So they took me to this house where they said I could stay with  
these people for now. The house was older than the one I lived in with  
my mother, and father. I almost could not believe it was occupied,  
because in my point of view, it seemed as if it was deserted.

There were two girls and a man that looked similar to my father. He  
greeted me with a serious look on his face, a look in which not even a  
smile would make him seem as if he was happy to see me. The two girls  
behind him look terrified and beaten. Their faces immediately me  
shiver. So, I kept myself to myself. I wanted not to be informed of  
what happened in this house.  
It wasn't long until I realized that I was changing into this  
person who lost her home and the people she loved. And it also wasn't  
long until I found out that Aunt Sara passed away as well as my mom.  
I became depressed and sad, but I was much more depressed and sad than  
the two girls in the home they placed me in. Their names are Ana and  
Mina. Ana was the youngest and Mina was the oldest.  
From time to time, my foster dad would hit us. He'd hit me more  
than them at times because I back talked a lot. I don't really speak  
to Ana or Mina. I was silent. I took the beating, and for some reason,  
it never hurt. Not as much as I was hurting inside. Neither his shaky  
fists nor his strong arms could break me. I was who I was.

I was reading this magazine I had found around the house, when Ana  
came into our old, dark and vacant room and asked me for my name. I  
was never surprised, because like I said, I never really spoke to them  
that much. I told her my name was 'Pudding' and she looked at me like  
I was crazy, but even I would of looked at myself as if I was crazy as  
well, because 'Pudding' is not really a name. So I told her my name  
was 'Penelope'…  
"Penelope? That's a nice name", she said, as a faint smile came  
to my face for the first time in weeks, "Thank you, Ana", I said, as  
she smiled back, "Where is Mina?" I asked, "She comes home from school  
late on purpose sometimes. I can't say I blame her", She said, "Oh, I  
see", I muttered, "She can handle herself, don't worry", she said,  
"Oh, alright", I said, "May I call you Pudding?" She asked, at first  
I was going to respond with a loud and confirming 'NO' but then I  
thought to myself, sure, why not "Well, alright. Ana, where is he? Our  
foster father…" I said, as she replied "He's drunk again", as she sat  
next to me, trying to sneak a peek at my work, "Is he napping?" I  
asked, "Yes", she said, that same faint smile appeared on my face as I  
rushed on my coat and sprinted out of the house; I looked back and saw  
Ana standing at the doorway. Half way outside, I bumped into someone…  
I bumped into Mina.  
"What are you doing out of the house?" she said in a curious  
tone, "Well, I was…" I said, "Were you trying to run away?" she asked,  
"Yes, I was, I hate this house and that abusive drunkard we call dad!"  
I yelled, "Go ahead and run, but you won't make it. Trust me, as soon  
as they find your little butt freezing in the snow, they'll put you in  
another home that's three times more terrible than this", she said as  
she pushed me aside, walking into the house. She led the way, and I  
followed…

Chapter 3  
'Self Segregation'  
As time went on, I felt myself slipping… I was becoming something  
other than myself. I was… a lonely, broken, abandoned child…  
I had written in my journal [a notepad I found under my foster  
father's bed]... It was like my best friend. It was the only thing  
that understood how I felt. And as for Ana, she was different as well,  
she was sad, sleepy most of the times, and her odd attitude and lazy  
behavior made everything worse.  
Mina… She moved away, she was old enough to make her own decisions,  
and leave. She is in college now. Every day, I would pick up that  
journal, and write how I felt about my life… I would tell my mother's  
tale, I would tell Aunt Sara's life story, and I would even sometimes  
slip in a quote that my dad used to say to me before he left…

The next day…  
I was eating in our living room… this little tasty snack that my  
foster father brought home from his job today, as Ana was in the  
corner, staring blankly into space.

I felt bad for her, so I walked over, handing her a piece of my  
snack. I broke it in half, evenly, and then handed it to her... But  
she pushed it away.  
"I don't want any…" She silently said, "Why not?" I asked, "I'm  
nothing anymore, Pudding… nothing more than a waste of space, and a  
burden to everyone…" She'd mutter silently. I bent down, hugging her,  
but she did not return my hug. She'd continue to stare into space, as  
I picked myself up and walked away.  
Twas clear to see, that Ana would never be the same.  
A few minutes later…

I walked into the bathroom, as my tub of warm water lifted my spirits.  
I sat in it slowly, as my spirit calmed, and my body shivered lightly  
from the warmth goodness.  
Then, there was a knock on my door, but not just any knock… It was  
three large pounds on the bathroom door, which indicated that it was  
'him'... Our foster father. He broke in, pulling me out of the tub,  
and pushing me out of the bathroom. I stood there shivering in the  
cold, as he laughed loudly, pointing at me.  
"Where… is… Ana?" He'd yell, "I don't know…" I replied, "TELL ME WHERE  
SHE WENT, I CAN'T FIND HER" He yelled, gripping my hand tightly,  
squeezing it ever so tightly… "I really don't know!  
Let go of my hand, you're hurting me!" I'd scream. He released my  
hand, yelling angrily at me, as he ran down the steps, and through the  
front door. I wondered where Ana was, and if she was okay. Because  
earlier, she said something to me that made my skin crawl… "I'm  
nothing anymore, Pudding… nothing more than a waste of space, and a  
burden to everyone…"

I got dressed, putting on my clothes, running outside, yelling  
Ana's name loudly out in the open. Was she gone? Did she really decide  
to run away or commit suicide? Ana was only 10 for god sakes… I ran  
across the street, I ran to the corner stores, to the local pool… I  
ran to the train stations, to bus stops; anything that might be deadly  
or could cause serious accidents or death.  
I thought to myself… 'Why did she do this…?' But the answer was very  
obvious. She was tired of living; she was tired of being worthless and  
not amounting to anything. She was tired of being abused… she wanted  
to forget, and just die right where she stood. But now she's gone… Yet  
another face I will probably never see again.  
My foster father, [Who from now on will be called, He or Him] Came  
back to the house a few hours after I got back inside… He walked  
through the door, breathing heavily, then shaking his head, glancing  
over at me, uttering… "Where has that girl gone…?"

Weeks later…  
Of course she didn't come back… She couldn't take it anymore, the  
pressure, the stress, the worthlessness, it was all for nothing.

It finally clicked in my head that I was alone now. Both of them left,  
I was left alone with him, this man who made our lives a living hell.  
It has been so many years since my life was taking turns for the  
worst. So I sat in my bed alone, dreaming of what to do, since I've  
grown so much, I couldn't take the easy way out. Suicide. I couldn't  
do it; I wasn't as brave and daring as Ana was. Hopes were gone now.  
My life was being so destroyed. He was so tired lately… He came in  
from his job, staring at me one day, with his papers in his hand. He  
walked over to me, nodding his head, as he stood in front of me. I  
wondered why he was standing as close as he did. He took me by  
the hand, and I stood there with a blank look in my eyes. "… Are you  
alright?" He asked, as I nodded, keeping a bit of a distance away from  
him, "… Are you sure?" He asked curiously as I nodded once more.

I pulled away from him, and ran upstairs. He clenched his fist tightly  
walking out of the house once more.  
What has my life spiraled into…?

Days, weeks, months and years have passed, and I can't do this  
anymore. My spirit is week, my knees shake when I stand; I look  
nothing like myself anymore. I stare in the mirror sometimes for hours  
while He is at work. I stare into my own eyes trying to find some  
worth, some value in my broken soul.

I was eating something, nothing good, just something to stop my stomach from growling; followed by that a trip to the bathroom. I wondered  
what He had in his medicine cabinet; I had never checked that place  
out of boredom before… As expected, I saw shaving cream, floss,  
toothpaste and some pills… But there was something I never thought  
would be in there… A razor… I picked up that very razor, and stared at  
it blankly as my eyes widened… Think of the damage this can do to a  
person's skin…

Chapter 4…  
'Breaking point'

… I placed the razor's sharp edge on my skin, slicing it just a bit,  
as I inhaled slightly, embracing the pain. I wondered if I did it deep  
enough, I might die. But no, suicide is not what I want, I want to be  
loved and not lose that person.  
I put the razor back... Staring at the blood running down my arm.

I was happy... It felt good... The pain felt so good...

To be continued.


End file.
